Under (Eng)
by C-huddy-H
Summary: Translation by SweetieR of my french fanfiction Under. Post-3x22. Marian's return will force Robin to make a choice between her and Regina. One is the mother of his son and the other is his soulmate. Will he listen to his reason or his heart ?
1. Chapter 1

**Under**

**Translation by SweetieR of my french fanfiction Under. **

**Post-3x22. Marian's return will force Robin to make a choice between her and Regina. One is the mother of his son and the other is his soulmate. Will he listen to his reason or his heart ?  
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**A big thank you to SweetieR who agreed to translate this fanfiction. I urge you to go read her fanfiction ! For my part I had a big crush on "The queen and her Thief" a collection of one-shot about the Outlaw Queen. Her prompt are great you will love it !**

**Again thank you so much SweetieR !**

**I hope you'll enjoy ! **

The slam of the door still echoed in her and made trembled the walls of her office, now plunged into darkness. The fire that, a few minutes ago, must still have been floating now let escape a last flicker, before dying for good.

Regina blinked a few times, lost. She couldn't still realize the gravity of what happened in front of her. She couldn't believe it, she didn't want to believe it. It all seemed so unrealistic, it didn't make any sense. Her hands were trembling and her throat was dry. This time she had believed. She had let herself truly believed. She had thought she had found happiness and for the second time, it was torn apart from her brutally. For the second time, one of the members of that damn family was taking away all of her hopes of happiness.

Contradictories feeling were taking hold of her. She felt lost, alone, and the despair was growing in the spit of her stomach. Suddenly, her legs trembled and she barely caught herself on the sofa. The pain, the anger, the hurt, the hate, all these feelings were whirling in her mind. A cry of pain escaped her lips. A moan that came from the deeper part of herself. Her knees shook from the intensity of the pain and she let herself crumbled heavily on the ground. It's when the first tear escaped her eyes. She was hurt, so hurt. Her hand flew to her chest while she bent, fighting for oxygen.

The lights of a car driving across her office lighted up the room, and she could see what remained of her happiness on the table. In a moment of rage, she grabbed the wine bottle and threw it violently against the wall facing her. It exploded and pieces shattered everywhere in a roar. Tears blurred her eyes and fury totally darkened her mind. Her hands moved and she threw away the food and the glasses that were laying on the table. Her fist fell brutally on the furniture in front of her and pieces of glass cut her. Her mental pain was such that she didn't even felt the crystal buried in her palm, not even the blood that was leaving her arm.

Another cry escaped her throat and was soon followed by sobs, louder, hideous sobs. Why was it happening ? Why Emma had to take away her happy ending in such a way ? The young woman let herself fall completely on the ground, her head now laying on the carpet. She bit her lower lips and closed her eyes. She curled up on herself, her knees against her chest, shaking with sobs.

She felt a huge gap in her. Something was once again definitively broken in her. Didn't fate ruined her life enough ? No it wasn't fate. It was Emma. Emma was the only responsible. All of this was her fault, just like Daniel's death was her mother's. Her heart started once again beating fast, but this time, happiness wasn't the reason for it but her old friend, the hate ; her most loyal friend, the revenge. At this moment, she would have wanted to close her hands around the idiot's neck and squeeze, squeeze until it was impossible for blood to circulate, until life left her stare, until her breathing became impossible.

Her eyes opened immediately and she realized. No. It wasn't what she wanted. It wasn't the savior's death she dreamt about. It was just Robin's arms around her. Robin's eyes in hers. Robin's lips upon her mouth. He was what she dreamt about, him only. He was her soulmate. The one destined to be hers yet she just lost him forever. She thought about all the moment they had spent together and only wanted to disappear. She would have wanted to die in order to stop feeling the despair that was squeezing her throat, that was making her nauseous. There was nothing more to do. She couldn't even fight for this man. She had no right to. His wife had been returned to him, the mother of his son and she cared about him too much to not let him enjoy this happiness. He finally gets a second chance and despite what she had believed, it wouldn't be with her.

**OQOQ**

Robin puts the cover more on her and let his hand run tenderly through her hair. He couldn't sleep. He couldn't help but fear this would be another dream like he had so many during all those years. His fingers grazed the face of his wife. He still had a hard time realize that she was truly alive, that she was truly there, by his side, holding their son in her arms. He should have been the happiest of the men at this moment, but something deep inside him was making him uncomfortable.

He stroke one last time her long brown hair then gets up. Once the moment of shock gone, his thoughts immediately left to Regina. He had turned around but she was gone. Like magic. A kind of guilt had emerged in him. He felt guilty he could have feelings for another woman but his wife while this one just returned safe and sound in his life, but he also felt guilty regarding Regina. He had understood how difficult it had been for her to dare open up to him and he felt like he betrayed her, despite of himself. The thief ran a tired hand on his face and let himself fall on the log, in front of the fire.

The light of the flames lighted up his forearm briefly and his eyes fell on his tattoo. The Queen's words entered his mind and he felt his heart squeeze. Destined to be together. He had believed her instantly when she had told him the way Tinkerbell led her to him, years before. He believed her because he had right away felt this connexion between them in the Enchanted Forest and even in this new world while they had lost their memories. Yes, he knew Regina was the woman with whom he was destined to be with but he loved Marian. He never stopped, despite her death.

He picked up a piece of dead wood and threw it violently into the fire. The choice in front of him seemed impossible. He didn't feel like he could choose between the two women. Between the woman he had loved all those years, the mother of his son and the woman who simply was his soulmate. He didn't feel strong enough. He thought about all the things he had been through with Marian no matter what, then he thought about the way Regina let him destroy the unbreakable wall she had built not to be hurt again. _"I never thought I'd have this...", _he saw her teary eyes, he saw her smile, he saw the fragility he was the only one allowed to see in her and he suddenly felt the urge to run to her house, take her in his arms, to hold her tight against him. He made a move then, but the reality came crashing down on him. No he couldn't, not with Marian's return. He couldn't let her down a second time. She didn't deserve it. He was so happy to have her back but just for one second, he thought everything would have been easier if Emma had not brought her back with her. He hit his forehead with his fist. How could he have such thoughts ? He had no right, it was beneath him !


	2. Chapter 2

**A big Thank you to SweetieR for the translation !**

Regina laid her phone on the table and pushed it away from her. Since dawn, Henry's face had not stopped appearing on it. She felt guilty for ignoring him this way, knowing her son must be worried about her, but she didn't want to talk. She just wanted to be left alone, she just wanted to forget. Forget about these moments of happiness, these moments where she had believed in a happy ending again for the first time since Daniel. A tear escaped her eyes and ended its way in her teacup. She watched as the liquid slightly wavered and pushed the cup away too. She didn't even know why she made it in the first place, she couldn't eat anything since last night. Nausea was holding her throat and even one drop of water was inevitably going out of her again.

The young woman squeezed her bathrobe around her and let her gaze lost in her kitchen. She had put the heating to a maximum and yet couldn't stop shaking. She had the awful feeling of being empty. She felt totally lost and her mind seemed to go slow. She buried her face in her hands and took a deep breath. How could she be in so much pain for a man she only dated for a few days. How could she believe, even for one second, that she could be happy? Villains don't get happy endings. How could she have forgotten? Snow! It was her fault, with her long speech about hopes and second chances, about a better future. How could she have listened to this idiot? She had made her believe foolish things and now, she was completely broken.

Her phone rang once more and she stopped herself from throwing it on the wall. She didn't want to hear them, she didn't want to see the pity in their eyes. She didn't want their apologies, she didn't want their compassion. She didn't want to deal with them ever again. She didn't want to see them anymore. All that damn family who didn't stop ruining her life. First Daniel, then Henry and now Robin, when would they stop? Stop making her miserable and taking every right at happiness from her.

The Queen got up with difficulty, she felt like she was bearing all the weight of the world on her shoulders. While she walked into the hall to the stairs, a loud sound could be heard against the front door. She shook her head and decided to ignore the visit, no matter who it might be. The young woman laid her hand on the banister and started climbing the first two steps.

"Mom, it's me! Come on, open the door, I know you're in here!", exclaimed Henry through the door.

Regina stopped right away and she felt her stomach drop. She would have wanted nothing more than open up to him, let him in and squeeze him in her arms, but in the other hand, she didn't want to talk about Robin. She didn't feel able to put words on what she was feeling and speaking it out loud would only make things more real and she couldn't handle it. Without a noise, she let herself slide against the banister and sat on one of the steps.

"Mom, please let me in !", begged the young boy.

Tears pricked at her eyes and she violently pressed her hand on her mouth to stop the sobs from escaping.

"Regina, open the door or I'll broke it !", threatened a voice that arose an intense anger in her.

The Queen got up suddenly and headed toward the door. She opened it violently and found herself face to face with Emma. How did she dare come here after what she has done? Regina felt her breathing becoming more and more ragged and hatred found its way into her. Her hand was trembling and then, without her being able to control it any longer, she slapped her with all the strength she could muster.

Emma laid a hand to her cheek, under the choc, and took a step back.

"Mom !", screamed Henry but the blond cut him by laying a hand on his shoulder.

"Leave it, I... I deserved it!", breathed the young woman looking up toward the Queen.

Regina stayed still, surprised by her own gesture. Her eyes were shining with tears and she felt darkness invaded her heart again.

"Regina..." tried Emma, walking toward her carefully.

"No !", breathed the Queen.

"No !" she screamed, eyes shining with fury.

"Don't get any closer !", she shouted, raising a menacing finger toward her.

"Don't ever talk to me again ! I don't want to see you anymore and I don't want to hear you either ! You've done enough! I don't want your apologies or your mother's !" She spat fiercely.

"Don't ever come close to me again or I'll swear next time I'll leave more than a red mark on your cheek !" she threatened her seriously.

Emma's eyes widened, but she was smart enough to shut up.

"Mom..." breathed Henry, raising a hand toward her.

Regina shook her head and took some steps back.

"Not... Not today Henry... I am sorry ..." she said, tears rolling down her cheeks while the door closed on them.

**OQOQ**

A hand stroked tenderly his hair and he jumped. He blinked a few times and realized he had fallen asleep on the log in front of the now-dead fire.

"Marian ?" he breathed, panicked while the memories of last night came rushing back. And what if it had all been a dream ?

"Hey... Calm down, I am here." answered the soft voice of his wife beside him.

Robin turned his head to her and was relieved when his eyes met hers. The young woman beamed at him and laid a hand on his cheek. He stared at her for a long time. After all this time, her features had been erased from his memory little by little, leaving only behind memories of sensations, feelings. He saw her leaning in in order to kiss him and couldn't help but draw back.

"What is it ?" breathed Marian, raising an eyebrow at him, a shadow of sadness crossing her eyes.

Robin opened his mouth, but couldn't find the words. He had hoped for this moment for such a long time, he had pictured that moment a thousand of times in his head and yet, something felt off.

"Robin... It's me, my love... Don't be afraid, nothing could tear us apart ever again..." she comforted him, stroking his cheek gently.

The man closed the eyes and tried to enjoy the contact. He tried to smile, but he didn't manage to feel the feelings he was supposed to feel at the moment. He should have wanted to take her in his arms, to kiss her until they were breathless, to make love to her for hours but he didn't feel all that.

"I know... I know..." he said, drawing her to him.

Marian snuggled against him right away and he laid his head on the top of hers. He heard her sigh in a content way, but couldn't help but stare right ahead of him. He should have focused his attention on his wife, enjoy the warmth of her embrace and yet, Regina's face wouldn't leave his mind. Shame and guilt were squeezing his heart. He was deeply disgusted with himself even if reason screamed at him that there was no reason to. He thought her dead, he thought he would never see her again and now, he hated himself for having been able to move on.

"Marian ?" he breathed, ready to tell her about Regina.

The young woman looked up to him, a bright smile on her face. The happiness he could see in her eyes slowly took away his courage he still had. He couldn't talk about it now. He couldn't take the risk to make her suffer, while she just reunited with himself and her son. He felt like the worst of the words, but stopped himself.

"No... Nothing..." he finally answered before laying a slight kiss on her forehead.

"I've missed you so much..." she sighed, snuggling a bit deeper into his embrace.

Robin tightened his arms around her and a sad smile stretched his lips.

"I've missed you too !" He admitted sincerely while knowing his words didn't hold the depth hers were.

Yes, he had missed her. Horribly. He had driven himself sick for months when he learnt about her death. He almost lost all his reason to live and the only reason why he didn't was Roland, nothing else. And then time had made its work. Every day he was missing her a little less, every day he found his joy of living a little more, until he finally let go of his guilt and pain. He had not forgotten about her, far from it. He thought about her, her each and every time he saw their son. But along with time, the time he thought about her were less and less regular. And these last weeks, it wasn't her face that appeared on his moments of doubts, in the moments he fell asleep alone by the fire. Regina's face had progressively replaced hers and he felt guilty just thinking about it.

**OQOQ**

Regina woke up suddenly when she heard some knocks at her door. She moaned and drew the blanket up to cover her face completely. Her mind was still blurry from the sleeping pills she had taken, some hours ago. After making sure Emma and Henry was gone for good, the Queen had gone to sleep, unable to do anything else in her state. She had cried... Again, then the MEDs finally made their work and she was plunged into a dreamless sleep. Without pain, without regrets, without Robin, without Roland, without Marian. However, the moment she had opened the eyes all the pain came back without leaving her a moment to breath. The knock became harder and she put a pillow over her head. It couldn't be Emma, the young woman surely learnt her lesson. Then who else ? Snow ? Archie ? Tink ? No matter, she didn't want to see any of them.

After a few moments, the knocks stopped and she felt relieved. They could all go to hell. She closed her eyes and let herself being invaded by despair. Deep down, Regina knew it wasn't getting any sense. Staying alone, in her bed while thinking about the past again and again, wouldn't help her get better. But she didn't want to get better, she didn't want to move on. She didn't want anything anymore.

A noise coming from the corridor made her jump. Right away, she felt anger took hold of her. Who dared ? Who could be crazy enough to sneak into her house without being invited to? She raised and made a fireball appeared in her hand. Eyes burning with rage, she stared at the door handle, saw it down and raised the arm, ready to make the intruder leave.

The door opened slowly and the fireball disappeared at the same time her heart missed a beat.

"Robin..." she breathed, totally petrified.


	3. Chapter 3

He had discreetly left the camp, claiming an errand to do in town, but Little John wasn't fooled. The Merry Men knew exactly where he was going and the thief could see the disapproval in his eyes. Robin had hesitated for a few seconds, but finally he was gone. He had to see her. He had to talk to her. He had to be sure she was okay or at least not too bad. He didn't want to hurt her. He didn't want her to think she had been a game for him. He didn't want her to closes her heart once again because of him.

When he finally arrived at her home he took several minutes before finding the courage to knock. He didn't know what to expect and he didn't know what to say. He felt lost and make a choice seemed impossible. He couldn't abandon them, neither Regina nor Marianne, but yet he had to stop burying his head in the sand. He had to choose.

He knocked again and again, always a little harder against the oak but she didn't respond. It was no doubt, she was here. Her car was parked in the driveway and the key which she usually left behind the flap wasn't there. He thought for a moment and then decided to go around the house. He had to find a way to enter. He had to find a way to talk to her face to face.

He saw the huge tree whose branches touched the edge of a half-open window and he didn't hesitate to climb. Quietly, he broke into what was undoubtedly Henry's room and went towards the hallway.

He walked apprehensively in the corridor, guided by instinct, towards a closed door. He could smell her perfume in the air. He loved her scent. He loved burying his face into her neck and breathe until he lost his mind. This memory left him a bitter taste in the mouth. He could never do that again. This privilege was taken away from him as soon as Marianne had thrown herself into his arms at Granny's.

Standing in front of the door, he took a deep breath and lowered the door handle. The scene in front of him broke his heart. There she was, sitting on her bed, parted lips, eyes swollen with tears. Her voice's tone when she said his name sent shivers down his spine. She looked so fragile, so upset, so lost.

Regina looked down and pulled the blanket over her chest. She didn't want him to see her like that. She didn't want him to feel guilty about her. She couldn't look at him. She couldn't look at him without taking the risk to fall apart once again. She didn't want him to see her pain, her despair. She would have preferred he ignore her. She would have preferred he forget all the times they had spent together. She didn't want him to blame himself for this situation. She just wanted him to move forward even if that meant he had to leave her behind.

"You shouldn't be here ...", she breathed, without looking at him.

Despite the softness of her voice, Robin felt like he had been slapped in the face. He hadn't expected this kind of reaction. If the situation had been reversed, he would probably have felt anger and jealousy. And even if it might have seemed selfish, he would have fought for her, he would undoubtedly have begged her not to leave him. He looked at her a moment, unable to say anything. She seemed to have made the choice for them. She seemed to think he had to choose Marianne.

Without a word, he walked slowly to the bed and sat there. He tilted his head, trying to catch her eye, but she continued to fix the window. He swallowed hard and raised his hand towards her face.

"Don't ...", she tried to protest, but the rest of her words died in her throat when his warm hand rested against her cheek.

The queen closed her eyes and bit her bottom lip to prevent deep sobs escaping her throat. She also tilted unconsciously her head, enjoying the feel of his palm on her skin.

"I'm sorry ... so sorry ... Regina" he whispered, himself close to tears.

See her like this was hard to take for him. He deeply hated himself for this. He couldn't bear the thought that she suffers because of him. Without listening to his reason, he approached a little more of her until his forehead touches hers. His thumb slid gently against her cheekbone while his other hand was clutching at the blanket which covering her legs.

Regina opened her eyes when she felt him so close and put her hands on his chest to prevent him from coming closer. It was torture for her. She struggled to doesn't press her lips against his and to doesn't snuggle against him.

"Don't be ... It's not your fault ... You have to do what is best for your family ... Roland needs his mother ..." she said reluctantly, but sincerely, catching his gaze for the first time.

"Oh Regina ..." he whispered, his left hand back through her hair, pulling her towards him to plant a long kiss on her forehead.

Her words really touched him. Contrary to what others might tell about her, he knew it was all wrong. She had changed. She was so wonderful. He was the only one who was allowed to see under the mask of contempt and indifference. It was this Regina he had always seen. This Regina with whom he wanted to spend his days and nights. He closed his eyes and accentuated the pressure of his lips on her skin. He breathed deeply the scent of her hair and for a moment he forgot Marianne. He let his face slide slowly against hers and when his lips brushed hers, he was suddenly brought back to reality by Regina's hand over his mouth.

"Don't make it more difficult ..." she whispered, looking down and dodging the kiss she wanted so much, tears running down her cheeks.

So close to her, he could no longer thinking. He could no longer think as an honest man. Her scent intoxicated him and Marianne's return seemed to be a distant dream. He shook his head to put some order in his thoughts. Of the both of them, Regina was without doubt the strongest, because he felt unable to handle the situation.

"I never wanted this ..." he said, raising her chin in order to catch her gaze.

A sad smile stretched the queen's lips. He was sincere, terribly sincere and she knew it. She felt him so torn, so sad. It was up to her to make this decision. It was up to her to do everything in order to give him back the happiness that had been taken from him years ago. Even if it's meant the end of their story.

"I know ..." she said softly, putting her hand on his cheek.

"It's going to be fine... Now go ! Go to your wife and your son! It's your second chance... "she finally said, pushing him gently.

He wasn't able to take his eyes off her. He couldn't leave. It was too painful. He made a new gesture towards her, but she shook her head. It was too late, he had lost her. Without a word he stood up. He stepped back as slowly as possible to enjoy her presence a little longer. He knew deep within himself that she was the one he should have chosen. But Regina had chosen for him long before he realizes he had to make a choice. She certainly made the choice for him, at the very moment she had seen Marianne. He let his eyes slide over her one last time, knowing that, it was the last time she would allow him to see her, truly see her.

Regina looked at him until he left her bedroom . Then, she bit her bottom lip and laid down to the bed. It was over. Everything was over.

**OQOQ**

The next day, Regina opened the front door and she was immediately blinded by the sunlight reflecting off a huge layer of snow. In one night, it had fallen nearly twenty centimeters. In this part of the world, the winters were known to be particularly harsh, but in thirty years, the woman had never seen a temperature change so sudden. A light breeze rushed in her neck and she was instantly feeling chilled to the bone. The queen shuddered from head to toe and made one more lap with her scarf around her neck.

Strangely, the discussion with Robin seemed to have done her good , even if despair still clutching her throat. She had to move forward, for him, for Henry. She had to take up her old habits to avoid sinking permanently into madness.

Soon she found herself in front of Granny's and went inside. Immediately all threads stopped and she could feel all eyes turn to her. This place instantly brought her back to that horrible night when her hopes were dashed. But she tried to keep a stony face, her eyes fixed on the counter.

"Dark coffee! ", She coldly ordered to the waitress.

The conversations started again behind her, but the exclamations had given way to whispers. The woman clenched her teeth. She knew exactly what they were talking about and she made a superhuman effort to stay calm.

"Regina ..." exclaimed a voice behind her.

The queen closed her eyes and inhaled deeply to doesn't let her anger explode.

"Miss Blanchard! The weather is a bit refreshed, isn't it ? "She replied innocently, turning over with a wide hypocritical smile stretching her lips.

Mary-Margaret blinked several times and seemed to remain speechless. The waitress in front of her was like frozen, no doubt fearing the return of the Evil Queen.

"What are you waiting for? This coffee has to be made ! "She spat.

The young woman blushed and stammered something before running to the kitchen. Regina grimaced and stared in front of her. She hoped the princess had understood she wasn't in the mood for a hope speech and she went back to where she came from. She had no desire to talk with her. She had no desire to deal with this family and the only way she found to avoid to snatch their heart, was to ignore them. To keep them at bay as she should have done from the beginning.

"Regina are you alright ? "Asked the princess, frowning.

The queen slowly turned her head toward her with a stony face.

"If you want to enjoy this larva which you have just given birth, I advise you to disappear in the second! " she threatened coldly.

Mary-Margaret became livid and stepped back. At the same moment, Tink went out of the toilet and a broad smile lit up her face when she saw Regina. With her usual good mood, she joined them, but her expression darkened when she sensed the uneasiness between the two women.

"Something wrong? "she asked.

"Don't do that... Don't do that Regina," pleaded Mary-Margaret, shaking her head negatively.

"Regina? ", worried the fairy, putting a hand on her arm.

Instantaneously the queen pushed her back violently.

"Don't touch me again! "She hissed through her gritted teeth.

"How could I have been so stupid to believe you? To listen both of you! "She added, raising her eyes as they filled with tears again.

The queen clenched her fists with such force that she felt her nails dig into her palm despite the thickness of his leather gloves. She will not break down again. She will certainly not fall apart in front of this person whom had claimed to be on her side. She simply wanted to get back the life she led before Emma Swan arrived in Storybrooke. She wanted to get back those years when everything seemed so simple, those years when there was only Henry and her, and nobody else.

"Regina I'm so sorry ... We need to talk about it, you can't simply act as if nothing had happened ... remember what happened after Daniel ..." said Mary-Margaret, her eyes full of tears.

"I forbid you to say his name! "She thundered, pointing a threatening finger at her.

The queen glared at her for long seconds, then a joyless smile stretched her lips. Of course ! The princess didn't care for her. The only thing she really feared was the Evil Queen's return.

"Reassure yourself, I don't intend to hurt your little family ! But Now there is no more Regina ! "she said coldly.

"For all of you, now it's Mrs. Mills or Madam Mayor, and if I were you, I would hold myself strictly to the rules of etiquette in the future! "She coldly advised the two women before giving a sidelong look at the table where there were David and Hook.

The waitress placed the coffee and the note on the counter. Regina took the cup and slid the note towards Mary-Margaret.

"That's for her ! "She said, addressing a forced smile to the princess before slamming the restaurant door behind her.


End file.
